“A Portuguese player once said, the goals come like ketchup. Once you get one, all the rest come after it,” said Eustaquio. This is especially poignant considering that Eustaquio grew up in Leamington, Ont., which is the tomato and ketchup capital of Canada. Damn, do I love it when the player provides the poetry for me. Makes this “game story” thing so much easier.

“I don’t think Carolina will have an easier 45 minutes than they did in that first half,” said FCE’s coach.

Maybe the Carolina RailHawks need to hire a shaman. Maybe someone at the club has wronged a Canadian in the past, and to fix it they’ll need to have Drew Beckie sing William Shatner quotes to the tunes of Rush songs.