Home Global Game CONCACAF The Cat in the Booth: A Seussian report on Canada’s win in Basseterre

The Cat in the Booth: A Seussian report on Canada’s win in Basseterre

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The sun did not shine
It was too cold to play
So I sat in the house
Watching a stream of the game

I sat there alone
Watching Nations League, wahoo!
And I said “How I wish
Canada would score a goal or two!”

The field in Basseterre was bumpy
And was made for cricket, not a soccer ball
And for most of the first half,
Canada could not get a shot on goal at all

So all I could do was
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
And as the half wore on,
I did not like it one little bit

Meow!
And then something meowed!
How that meow had Cansoc Twitter wowed!

We heard!
Then we heard it again on the mic!
We heard!
And we heard him!
The Cat in the Booth!
And he meowed
“Why does Canada Tweet about me like that?”

“I know you will fret
That a cat’s meow is not funny
But maybe Canada can make
A run into the box that is runny!”

“I have heard about this game that humans play”
Meowed the cat.
“Canada should have lots of tricks,”
Said the Cat in the Booth
“Davies and Cavallini and Hoilett have good tricks.
Maybe they will show them to you
Cansoc Twitter
Will not mind if they do.”

The Cansoc fans did not know what to say
The first half was nearly over
And St. Kitts and Nevis had held us at bay

But Atiba Hutchinson said “No! No!
Make your worries go away!
Tell that Cat in the Booth
We do not want our fans to go grey
We should not be tied
We should be winning in a rout
We should not be tied
So to Russell Teibert I’ll make a shout”

“Now! Now, Canada have no fear, have no fear!”
Meowed the Cat
“Teibert’s cross in not bad”
Meowed the Cat in the Booth
“Why Canada can continue its good run
If Atiba can follow the ball
And head it in to put Canada up by one!”

“Put one down for Canada!” cried the fans.
“But this cat is no fun at all!
Put that cat away!” cried the fans
“The cat does not belong on the broadcast at all!”

“Have no fear!” meowed the Cat.
“Canada will not fail
They will be on top of the Nations League standings, up high
As I meow into the mic!
And he raised a paw
And said “For the team in the white jerseys
“Their future in the Nations League is no longer murky!”

“Listen to me!
Listen to me now!” meowed the Cat.
“With a mic in my paw
And a cry in my throat!
I can call this game!
I can say it all!
Look!
You’ve had Madbull and Maestro
And that was funny
And Benny’s store
With deals that save money
But this is new!
This is not all!
Listen to me, listen to my call!”

“Listen to me!
Listen to me!
Listen to me NOW!
It is fun to have fun.
But you Canadians don’t know how.
I can make fun of this game.
I’ll meow more than you can take!
I can call this game!
And I won’t take a break!
I meow as Canada holds a slim lead
Well into the second half.
Cavallini’s shot is deflected
Canada can’t get a second
I meow with the best
I’m a feline force with which to be reckoned
But that is not all,
Oh no.
That is not all…”

“That is what the Cat said…
As we all cheered for Canada RED
But Canada made us worried
From out there at Warner Park
And I watched the stream
And just wanted Canada to hit the mark
(for a second time)”

Larin’s shot was blocked, Davies took a shot
The slim lead thickened the plot
Cansoc Twitter said “Do we like this?
Oh no, we do not!

This is not a good game,”
Said Cansoc Twitter as David hit the bar
“No we do not like it,
Not one little bit.”

“But look what you did!” meowed the Cat!
“Now look at the table!
Look at the standings! Look and don’t stop!
With three wins in three games,
Canada is near the top!
You sank the Kittitans hopes
Sank them deep into the ocean
You’re rising up CONCACAF
Herdman’s plan is in motion
You won in Basseterre
You won here, you won there
Take your place in the Gold Cup”
Meowed the Cat.

“But I like being in the booth.
Oh I like it a lot!”
Said the Cat in the Booth
To those watching the stream
“But I will have to go away,
I know, I know.
But I’ve given you another story
About streaming games on CONCACAF Go!”

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One Comment

  1. Ralph

    November 23, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    Damn dude. You got way too much time on your hands!
    Great and bonus if you can do the next one in a Monty Python vein 🙂

    Reply

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